I want her
by NeverBeenDarkMarked
Summary: On an outing as a new deatheater Severus and the rest come across some members of the Order and begin a chase. Despite everyone watching Sev must protect Lily.


This has been stewing in my mind for a while. I wondered if Lily and Severus ever saw each other during fights btween the order and deatheaters.

By the way this is not some sick story... Just hear me out.

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is J. K. Rowlings**

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><p>Severus ran as fast as he could, legs pumping. This was only his third proper outing as a new death eater, and he was desperate to prove himself.<p>

Up ahead were about five members of the bothersome Order of the phoenix, and the chase had started a few minutes ago. As they ducked under and around the trees that surrounded them the occasional flashes of light burst backwards, making them duck and stumble, but they were gaining on them.

Suddenly three of the Order members split off from the group and dodged between the trees, heading in opposite directions. Lucius called out from just behind Severus.

"Yaxley, Mulciber, follow the left one! Avery, take Crabbe and Goyle and go after the middle one, and both of you Carrows follow the other. Bellatrix, Snape, carry on with me!"

They followed his orders, he was in charge after all.

Severus was still in front and he had his eyes locked on the two remaining figures as his other comrades followed closely behind.

Then they reached a place where the ground was more open, and a small stream crossed through the middle.

The taller of the two shouted something and all but threw the more feminine figure across the water. She landed neatly and swung back up to continue running, hood still over her head.

The man continued as soon as he saw she was fine, but it was too late by then. Severus had outstripped Lucius and came up closer behind the man. He heard Lucius yelling at Bellatrix to follow the woman before continuing on after Severus again.

They reached trees, and Severus saw he was right in range to shoot a-

"Crucio!" The man's knees buckled and Severus winced. He still hadn't quite gotten used to administering that curse.

He was slightly impressed that the writhing figure managed not to scream. Then he approached and sent the curse again before his enemy could regain footing.

The order member's hood fell off and Severus could see, for the first time, the mop of messy black hair that had haunted him so.

It was James Potter, he was torturing James Potter.

Severus stopped, not sure how he felt about that. The hatred that had boiled up in him when he first recognised his old enemy seemed to be fading.

Looking at the other man with disgust, he knew he'd never stop hating him, but something reminded him that this man had saved his life. Something stopped his wand as it swept through the air, on the path to another unforgivable.

Instead Severus muttered.

"Stupefy," He felt weak and stupid to loose his chance, but it didn't seem as though the time was right to-

"Brilliant!" Lucius had finally gotten to him "Did you kill him?"

Severus was spared answering by a scream that came from across the stream, a scream he would recognise anywhere, a scream that would haunt his dreams for weeks to come. It was Lily.

Controlling his expression Severus finally said "Oh, it looks like Bella's caught her quarry after-all."

Lucius gave a wicked grin.

"Shall we go and help her then?"

"Alright," He tried to act indifferent, hard when his muscles where screaming at him that they had to run, they had to reach her.

She screamed again and he was glad that Lucius picked up the pace, allowing him to get there as fast as he could without seeming suspicious.

They jumped the river and as they ran Lucius asked him about James again.

"So did you kill him?" The prospect didn't seem to bother him.

"Nah," Severus answered, he figured lying about that wasn't a good option "He passed out from crucio."

Lucius laughed "What a weakling."

Severus didn't answer as another scream rent the air, they were nearly there. And breaking into the clearing he saw her, lying on the ground, back arched under the curse. Her hair, now loose, matted with the dirt.

And still, she was as lovely as ever.

...

"Stop it!"

The curse lifted abruptly and Lily lay, panting, as she heard the familiar voice, one she'd thought was far behind her.

She peered out from under the hair that covered her face, trying to shake off the pain, trying to work out where her wand had gone. Then she spotted it, lying under a tree a few meters away.

"Why?" Bellatrix demanded of Severus, furious at being stopped. "What makes you care so much?"

There was a silence, and a cackle from Belletrix at the reaction her question had gotten.

"It's just a filthy mudblood." She said again. Under the pain Lily felt a spark of anger. Her system seemed to be adjusting, recovering from the shock that a crucio always left you with, especially multiple curses.

"I know that." Severus sounded harsh, indifferent, and so different. He didn't sound like her best friend. But he hadn't been that in years anyway.

More death eaters arrived then.

"They all disapparated, didn't catch any. Cowards." Lily felt a rush of hope, of joy. Her friends had escaped. They would be safe.

"That's not good." Lucuis' voice was impassive.

"Well let's not get off topic!" Bellatrix still sounded mad. "I was torturing the filthy mudblood. Tell me Snape, why'd you stop me?"

There was an uncomfortable silence.

"Because," There was a strange edge to his voice, almost triumphant. "I want her."

Lily's heart sunk. He what?

"_You_ want _her?" _Bellatrix cackled "Oh, this is just too good!"

Lucius chuckled as well, and soon everyone seemed to join in.

"Why'd you want a filthy mudblood? Will no pureblood girl go near you, then?" She laughed at her own humour.

In the light of the moon, which was waxing, it'd be full in a couple of days; Lily could see his face twisted into a cruel mask. His haughty features proud, like he thought he's get whatever he wanted.

"Well, Lucius, can I have her?"

The older man laughed again.

"You always were a determined one Severus. Who am I to hold you back? Just dispose of her when you're done."

Lily felt sick, as she watched Servus face twist into a triumphant grin. He looked cold, evil. She was left wondering if there was any part of her old friend left in him.

The rest of the death eaters went off, laughing and catcalling.

"Have fun Sevvy pie!" Bellatrix cackled, enjoying to opportunity to tease him more. She seemed to find this funny to no end.

The there were several pops as thy all disapparated.

Lily pushed herself into a sitting position, brushing her hair away and backing towards the tree.

She really wanted to vomit now. This wasn't right. Hadn't they agreed they didn't have feelings for each other when they were at Hogwarts? But now he stood before her, face hard and cruel, and she saw nothing of the boy she used to know.

But she was at his mercy, wandless and weak. And she knew she couldn't hold him back. Closing her eyes she made her defence.

...

"No, stay away, Sev. I _don't_ want this."

In a less serious situation he would have rolled his eyes. Was he really that good of an actor, that even Lily would think he was capable of something like that? He only wanted to save her, not use her.

"I'm sorry; I never knew you felt like this about me. But I'm with James and I'm in love with him. I just-" She was still backing away, back pressed right against the tree. "I _never_ wanted you that way."

He tried not to show how much that hurt him. Instead he sighed.

"Lily, I didn't mean it." She still looked terrified.

"I wanted to-" There was an awkward silence. "To save you. I don't want you to die."

He felt like kicking something in frustration.

"I'm not going to- to _touch _you."

Lily paused. The relief in those beautiful eyes, as tiny as it was, still stung.

"You aren't going to do anything?"

"No, I swear."

She was so scared of him now. Did she not remember what he'd promised her in their first year? _I'll always be there for you Lily, I won't let anyone hurt you._

...

Lily wondered briefly if this was a trap. But she'd be doomed either way, if she fell for it or not. The panic seemed to be subsiding. Severus looked like he was telling the truth. Perhaps, despite all he'd done, there was a little piece of her friend left inside him.

She tried to stand, but her legs shook and she crumpled to the ground. That had been a strong curse.

"Where's your wand?" Severus asked. Lily's eyes widened. Why would he want her wand? Was that the price he she had to pay for her freedom?

"Ah, there it is." He lifted it from the leaf litter and tossed it to her. She stared at him in shock.

So he meant what he said, about letting her go.

If so she owed her life to him. Lily considered trying to repair their friendship.

Severus reached out a hand to help her up.

But in that second it all went wrong. The moon came out from behind the clouds and shone brightly on his pale skin. Etched into his flesh was the dark mark.

Lily swallowed the bile that threatened to rise as she saw how thoroughly he'd been marked as one of them.

She couldn't do it. She couldn't repair their friendship. Like she'd know all along, he was in too deep. She couldn't save him. She didn't even want to touch him.

"I can help myself up!" She snapped, angry at herself for hoping she could be his friend after all that time.

Severus recoiled and she jerked upright, her anger making her feel strong again. With her disgust gone the fire of her nature came through.

"Goodbye Snape." She said, wishing she hadn't called him Sev again tonight.

...

He watched her walk through the trees, heard her exclaim and then wake James as she found him, heard the pop as they disapparated.

Feeling utterly defeated her curled up where she had lay and let his feelings burn him. Hoping that he might just die here in the forest. What was the point of living after that?

But after a while he stood up and got ready to apparate back to the death eaters. He'd give them some excuse, he'd say that Lily outsmarted him and beat him, say he almost lost his wand.

As long as she was safe, wasn't that what really mattered?

As long as she was safe, who cared what happened to him?

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><p>Review, especially if you're going to fav this :D<p> 


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